angel in soul.

Devil & Angel *

Wednesday, September 13, 2006
1:48 AM

:: day of the ticking fear ::

alright... heres my post... my last post before i get my results... strange day i am having... everytime i look at the clock today, i doesn't seems to be bothered by the time, but i seems to be making a count down...a countdown of the incoming fear.. the countdown to the release of the results..........the time seems to be ticking so fast that i can hardly remember that it had passed... and now that it is so quiet, the ticking of the clock sound across the whole room, ticking of the inpending fear.... seems like a time bomb that are tied to me... no matter what i do, it is inevitable.... and so hoping for a miracle to happen... made my prayer.... prepared for whatever that comes to me......be it good or bad.
but asking myself, am i really prepared? what will i do in different situation? with these question i asked to myself, it seems that i am not prepared at all... i was just waiting to receive something that i know i can escape... this is the first time i lost the confident i had.. the confident that i processed when i do things.. the thing that lead me through so far....and though i dun like to remind myself of that result is coming out, but it simply drift across my mind.... it is something which i can't forget, nor push it aside.... and so what should i do? no matter what i do; games;sleep;chores, these does not seems to allow me to let that thought down for a moment and the pressure is suffocating........
Now myself seems to be in delimma.. half of me want to get pass it as fast as possible.. but the other half seems dreadful to see the light of the new day... and so what should i do ? well i surpose there are no perfect answer to a question like this... and so it is better not to answer it....and so here i am .. sitting in the middle of the night... blogging.. letting the traquility of the night surround me... but the silience seems to be cause the mayhem within me.... ever heard of this phrase ' deafening silience speaks volume'? if not den it is time for you guys to get out of the well that u dwell in ... lol... OMG my first lol of the day.... hmmm i think i am going alittle bit of crazy...maybe more than abit....ok and so here is where i stop... hopefully that you guys out there will see a post from me tomolo... a post containing good news... a post that will releive me of all the agony that i am going through.....
and with this.... tatas